New Year Blues

I think I have the new year blues.

The urgency and the determination to become better, more productive, more organised, fitter.... and about 3000 other things that I feel I should be, seem to be slipping away faster than I can say "Latte please".

I am still trying to eat healthily. Most of the time succeeding apart from a few slip ups. But I am finding I'm snacking just as much just on "healthy" things. But I don't feel like I'm losing any weight. If anything I feel I may even have put some on.

Our plan to not drink during the whole of January has now dissolved. While I'm not drinking excessively, or even that regularly.... (I had one drink during the week and a couple on Friday night and then half a bottle out on our night out on Saturday night. Oh and a glass of wine at the pub on sunday... maybe I do need to cut down again). My resolve to quite lattes has now become "not drinking them everyday". Which is good as its saving me money but I still get to have a treat occassionally. I have also given up sweeteners in my coffee which was my husbands request as he says they are horrendously bad for you and also make you fat (some science stuff about making your body think you are having sugar even though you aren't.... I shut my brain down a few words into the explanation).

I'm feeling a little down in the dumps about things. About this whole slog that is working full time. About the house being a total tip and the realisation that if we do want a nice house with us both working full time it is going to involve a cleaner at least twice a week (4 hours or so) which is going to cost a bomb.

I'm not sure I'm doing the right thing. I'm not sure my plan to become a project manager so that I can be freelance or have flexible hours and maybe work from home so I can be around for the kids more by the time Lala goes to school... I'm not sure how its all going to come about. My confidence feels a little shattered if I'm honest. My confidence about most things - about my blog (I seem to have lost my mojo a little where that is concerned), about my life choices and my choice to work full time (is it worth it?), about myself and my looks and my worthiness as a person.

I'm aching for a slower paced life. I'm not sure its possible to have a slow-paced life with small kids, but its got to be easier than this!!! I'm tired. Permanently tired.

Peace at last

I feel like the bear in the story. Been looking everywhere for a bit of bloody peace and quiet but, with hubby being out on a course in London, it was no-where to be found. Until now.
He's back and I'm upstairs in my bedroom under the duvet while my bath runs (one thing I love about this cold weather is that our heating (and therefore hot water) is on permanent so I never find that there isn't QUITE enough hot water to have nice hot bath (and I don't like them any other way)). Not sure on the rules of using double parentheses…. oh well.

Its not been a bad day to be honest. I was moaning on Facebook this morning about the fact that Ben (that's hubby's name - may as well out him too as my identity has been mostly outed) was out all day on a class thing for his MBA. I hate being left with the kids all day. Its not that I don't want to spend time with them. And its not that I don't want to spend time on my own with them. I'm happy with both scenarios but I don't like it when a) I don't have any choice in the matter, b) its for a whole day, c) it means I don't get a lie in. So I was having a grump on there about it. Just saying I'd been "dumped" for the day. I didn't say much else. And lots of people piped up telling me to not look at it as a bad thing, to enjoy the day with my kids. You know when you know they are right but you just want to punch them in the face??? Even when you love them dearly… lol. Anyway, once I'd got over some of my grumpiness, I got myself and the kids ready and headed out with the sledges. I dragged them while they sat on the sledges, over to the football field near our house, and then we did sledding down the hill. When they seemed to get bored of that we built a little snowman and they threw snowballs at each other (and me) for a bit. After a while they both looked very cold. Lala's hat had fallen off in the house before we left and I hadn't noticed so she wasn't wearing a hat (it was because we kept being almost ready and then I'd remember something else I needed…) and their gloved hands were covered in snow and cold. So I dragged them in the sledges back to the house to have hot chocolate and stripped off their wet trousers putting dry stuff on them. Had a little hot chocolate for myself too. Was yummy.

We also played spaceships (me, Joshua and Lala each have a spaceship - star wars lego kind - except Lala's was just a few blocks thrown together by josh quickly as I told him Lala had to play too (she wanted the space ship I had). We all chased each other round the living room going "pow pow" and "pew pew" (the noises that spaceship guns make). We chased the dog around with tinsel (Lala wanted her to wear it but Tia wasn't that keen). We had a very short sleepover when I decided to take Lala up for a nap and Josh decided he wanted to come too…. Which ended with neither of them going to sleep. They had monster munch and biscuits and lollies, shepherd pie for lunch, nuggets and chips for dinner, popcorn…. More biscuits….. Lala has done 3 (or maybe 4) poo-ey nappies. I've also played with Lala's dollies with her, tried to get her to pick up her lego pieces that she threw all over the floor (a whole box worth), had a quick nap with Lala in her room (on her insistence) after changing her nappy. I think that pretty much wraps up the day's activity. Other than being climbed on, pulled at, prodded, jumped on, shouted at. Just a normal day at home with kiddies.

Which is why I was very relieved when Mr Hubster arrived home. After a day like today there is nothing better than just retreating into a quiet room. She says listening to the dog barking repetitively in the kitchen below. Sigh. Hubby can deal with it once he's put Lala to bed, which he's doing right now.

I think me and JJ have nits. In fact I know Josh has them as I saw one on him yesterday. We need to treat us all tomorrow I think, but this will probably involve a trip to the shops to get some more Hedex or whatever its called as I don't think we have enough (I have a lot of hair).

So peace and quiet, even with a husband in the house to look after the kids, is not really attainable. The dog is barking its head off, Joshua is screaming cos he doesn't want to go for a wee - he says he wants to take all the toilets out of here and send them away. I might put some earplugs in…..

So….. my non-alcohol January has gone out of the window. It started last saturday with a glass of wine that Ben and I both felt we deserved. I was only able to drink about a cm of that glass and poured the rest back in the bottle. Then I had a glass on Thursday night. Friday night (last night) I had a small brandy. Today I'm on my 2nd Glass of wine. Poured the first while I was cooking the kids dinner. Took me about an hour to drink it. And the one I have now is to keep me company in the bath :). I've also not done brilliantly on the healthy eating this week. Thursday I had some M&M's and a caramel biscuit thing. Last night I had a chocolate digestive and some torte thing that Ben bought. My resolve seems to slowly be diminishing day by day. Today I have snacked pretty much all day. I didn't really have a proper lunch but I had two bowls of muesli and some rye bread in the morning and I nibbled on some of the kids dinner. Finished their chips with some hot sauce. Had some popcorn. Just feel like I've been grazing. Must get back to healthy eating next week. And try to stay off the calorific nibbles - even if they are "healthy". I'm currently addicted to these seedy crisp breads. They come in a little cellophane bag and they are by a Doctor somebody. Will try to find them online to show you a picture. There is one that is pumpkin seeds and Emmental. They are just GORGEOUS. But they are £2 something a bag (of 6 I think) and they are very moreish.

Wow. That was a nice bath. Very hot. Didn't bother washing my hair or shaving my legs or anything. Just was enough to soak up the hot water. However, now feeling a bit worse than I was before. Cold-wise.

Is later again. Am fully stuffed with naga chicken curry. Watching Silent Witness. So gonna sign off now. Nightie night. Here are some more pics:

Hot rabbit & working from home

Am lying in bed with a hot rabbit (not some kind of sex-toy but a rabbit with special beads that heat up when you put it in the microwave so it acts like a kind of hot water bottle). My guts are playing up. I have the start (okay, probably more like the middle or end of the start) of a cold and my stomach is so bloated I, once again, look like I'm pregnant. See previous post where I thought I was pregnant - I'm not pregnant, I'm just fat!

Husband is off to a Saturday class for his MBA tomorrow. Last one apparently. Doesn't make me feel any less shit for him pissing off for the day and leaving me with the kids. Weekends are hard work enough without it being me on my own without backup. Although I'm still not convinced about him getting there.

I worked from home today. I woke up this morning and all there was was a tiny bit of frost but then around the time I was due to leave, it had started to snow so I texted my colleague to ask what she planned to do as I didn't want to get there only to have to turn around (for a start its a waste of petrol). She said to check if the boss was online, so i logged on and asked her what we should do and she said to stay home. I was really glad about this. I really didn't relish going anywhere in snow. Or getting stuck at the office. Or taking 5 hours to drive home as I had to go at 15 miles per hour.

I'm gonna go now because I can barely keep my eyes open. Just wanted to check in and say "Hello Blog". Sorry I haven't got anything interesting to say. Only that I'm feeling poorly and tired and a bit hard-done-by.

G'nite.

Cheating on food & Staying late at work

I have cheated somewhat on my "healthy eating plan". I have bought a packet of peanut M&M's and a caramel wafer thingy to get me by the rest of the afternoon. The walk took the good part of 15 minutes (especially as I realised half way there that I'd forgotten to take my ID card - need it to get in and out of certain areas of the building). I feel exhausted for the journey - not because I'm unfit (although I am a little unfit) but I think its because I'm ill. I've got the start of a cold. My throat hurts and feels like its going to develop into a cough and as I was walking I felt myself coming up in a sweat. I'm on my own now as one colleague had a half day and the other had arranged with me to go early (ie she goes early and I stay till 5.30pm). Which is fine as I usually go at 5pm (I work through - or just sit at my desk surfing the internet as there is no work to do - my lunch in order to leave half an hour early to pick up the kids). However, its quite annoying as its not busy and I've already seen lots of people leaving early due to the impending weather (which is not due to start until tomorrow anyway!!!). I SO hope it snows tonight/tomorrow morning. A day working from home would be just the ticket. As there isn't anything to do, it would involve tidying and watching TV. Yay. I was thinking about (not considering as I know logically that I couldn't get away with it) but I was still thinking about the idea of going home now (or at 5pm as that's when I'd normally go) and no-one would notice and I could sign on via my phone, but I did tell my colleague that I would stay until 5.30pm and even though there is really no point as I'm just sitting here, I'm going to do that.I'm packing up 5 minutes before though, and getting my coat on etc. Honestly, if I had some work to do I'd show a much better work ethic, but it feels like they don't value us enough to even give us anything to do. Maybe they are just going to let our contracts run until the end of June and then just get rid of us. All the more reason to get my Prince 2 training.

I have decided that I am DEFINITELY going to go in that direction. I'm 21% way through my Prince 2 for Dummies book that I downloaded and I think I'm going to do a course in July. Plenty of time to get my head around the idea of it all. And if this quietness at work continues then I'll just keep using the time to read. Although it is hard to be motivated about anything when you are bored out of your mind.

Shit. Just lost a load of stuff that I wrote. Anyway, its 17:28. I'm going to post this. Here is a picture of me with my coat on ready to go. 

Wednesday

I feel like I have lost my blogging mojo slightly. Recently some people (family members and friends) found out about my blog and while I had never intended to use this blog as a way to bitch about people, I guess I'm a little wary of being judged for what I say. But what the hell! Its my blog and I can say what I want.

I'd just say that if you don't like what I write, just don't read my blog. As that cult kids TV show used to say, Why Don't You Just Switch Off Your Television Set Laptop and Go and Do Something Less Boring Instead?

The last week (its Wednesday) feels like its been going slowly but also has gone fast, if that makes sense, in a blur of being woken up early and being bounced on by kids until we get up, getting kids dressed, getting ready myself, driving to work, being at work (this bit goes slowly), driving home from work, picking the kids up (if husband not doing it), sorting kids out for bed (then putting one or other or both of them back to bed 250 times), evening activities (insert watching TV, doing exercises, putting clothes away or just plain going to bed exhausted) & repeat.

I've been starting to feel like I'm getting a cold. I went out to Wokingham today to go to a health food shop and buy a load of vitamins and oil things. Hoping starting to take these helps me feel a bit better. I have a feeling its just life. I really thought that doing this "detox" (or a variation on it) would make me start to feel a little healthier but if I'm honest, I have mild runs, I've been on a milk period for a week and a half (this came on in the middle of my pill packet), I'm feeling just as tired in the morning as I was before. And now I just can't have my coffee in the morning. Maybe I should just accept that, at this phase in my life (i.e. while the kids are little and I'm working in a far away/non-flexible full-time job), I am just going to be tired all the time. So if I need a couple of coffees during the day or a glass of wine in the evening, why shouldn't I! I'm torn. If all this healthy eating and not drinking IS making me somehow healthier then I don't want to start slipping into old habits. Its not so much the idea of ONE DRINK or ONE LATTE at the weekends, but that one, with me, seems to lead to one every day and then a couple every day. Until I need it to get by. I worry that I'm like my dad in that respect. I don't overdo it very often at all (the occasional night out) but I do find myself relying on things (food, wine, coffee) to "get me through" or make me feel better.

Weekend antics

What a knackering weekend. But a great one!

Saturday lunchtime I went for my personal trainer session.

Today started with Rugby Tots at 8.40am. I REALLY could have done with a latte afterwards, but I managed to resist and came straight home to chill with Lala (while Ben was doing Joshua's rugby class).

After lunch we took the kids on a long walk (longer than intended really). I didn't realise quite how muddy it was going to be. And also I only wore a jumper - no coat as I thought we would be walking a bit faster. However, when Lala demanded to be carried (15 kilo 2 year old) I was quite glad of having no coat. My trainers which were relatively new (not much used anyway since I got them) got soaked through and my feet were wet inside them. Lala fell over in the mud and got covered in it. The dogs jumped in the pond and are now locked up in their room until they are dry. At the end of the walk we stopped at the kiddy park near our house (this was how we got our kids out on a walk - they are rather lazy buggers - probably get that off me if I'm honest - we promised them playing in the park at the end of the walk). They had a good go on the slide and swings. I took a tonne of photos and then we went home for hot chocolate and, for me and Lala, a change of trousers.

I have to say, after a long cold muddy walk, a hot chocolate in a nice warm house is absolute bliss! I think that's the thing about exercise and working hard. Nice stuff when you don't feel you deserve it, isn't so nice. Or it is but then there's the guilt. Talking of guilt, I gave in on my no alcohol thing last night. We both decided that we would have one glass of wine each on a saturday. No more than that. Just one glass. It was nice but I couldn't drink more than an inch of mine. Probably less than that! I poured the rest back in the bottle ready for next Saturday. It was nice though. I figure, no point drinking it for the sake of it. Plus I'm sure a little red wine occassionally is actually meant to be good for you.

I'm now having a cup of tea in the kitchen while the kids watch a bit of TV in the sitting room. Hubby is studying for 45 minutes and then I'm going to have a nice hot bath. I so need it. My legs and bum are killing me. My arms are a bit sore too.

Now its later. Have had my bath. Was GORGEOUS. Just what I needed. Then hubby went to use the bath water and when he came down it was bedtime and we got them ready for bed together. I read them a couple of stories. I always feel a bit like reading a story is the LAST thing I want to do. Its taken Joshua about 30 minutes to go to the toilet and brush his teeth and we've had to change Lala's nappy while she ran around the bedroom refusing to stand still. However, when I do read them a story, I really find myself getting into it. Particularly if its a book I had as a child. Tonight we read this one:

The writer shares my mum's name. Probably shouldn't say that but my anonymity is shot now anyway! lol. My mum used to read this one to me and my sister when we were children. I love it.

Some pics of the weekend:

Deciding on the best place to put her Rugby Tots sticker

Posing in the woods

Out romping with the doggies

Being a bit distracted by the puddles

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!

Synchronised swinging

This blog post contains some gross stuff (so don't read if you're squeemish or don't like ladies parts or bowel movements mentioned)

We've just put the kids to bed. I'm in my jimjams, my slippers and my fluffy pink dressing gown. I ache. I have diarrhea from the change in diet (either that or just a mild stomach bug that's gone on for a week). I left work early to go to the doctors and on the way driving I got stomach cramps and bad back ache simultaneously and felt like I needed to go for a shit (excuse the language). I honestly wasn't sure that I wasn't going to make it to the doctors in time to use their loo. Thankfully I did and it wasn't pretty. But at least it wasn't in my trousers. That would have been embarrassing and awful. The reason I went to see the doctor is that I have a small cyst on my nipple which I'd had looked at before and was told it was just a cyst and was fine but it had got bigger. About the size of a silver ball of the kind you use to decorate cakes - maybe a little smaller, but it had been bothering me and I wanted rid of it. So the doctor got a needle/very small scalpel and burst it and got the puss or whatever its called out. It hurt quite a lot I have to say but it didn't last very long. She then gave me some tissue to put in my bra and told me to have a hot bath to get any last remaining puss out (not like I need telling twice to have a hot bath. lovely). Its a little sore and, probably due to the diarrhea I feel rather achy and very tired.

I also asked the doctor about my mood changes a few days before my period and she said that I could change my pill or maybe, for now, try taking my pill packs back to back. i.e: not have a break in between packs. This could help to keep my moods constant if indeed my drop in mood is related to my hormone levels. She's also given me some pills to take in the event of a panic attack like this one.

Latest news and stuff

Feeling very tired today. Haven't written anything earlier to publish now so you just have me, here, at 9.07pm checking in for the day. Hope I have something useful to say.

News:

• we are not buying a house. Long story short, we decided not to buy the latest one because of lack of internet (hubby works from home) & then today the first house we wanted became available again but we decided against it this time as we are going to be sensible, try to save up and pay down debts (and enjoy having 2 incomes again before we blow it all on a big house move) so that in a year or two when we do decide to look again we can find something that is just right.
• I am starting with a personal trainer on Saturday. I'm quite scared. He is a body builder type and I think I will hurt after just half an hour with him. But hey, I am going to change my body and health. I will be comfortable, and fit, and confident this year. 
• We have decided to rehome one of our dogs. This decision has been in the making for a few months but I think we have finally made up our minds. She needs to be with a family that is around a lot more. With me working full time and hubs travelling quite a lot she just doesn't get enough attention. Toby dog, the little one, is quite easy to find someone to take him for the odd weekend or week (my parents love having him) but Tia is a bit of a handful. I do feel rather bad but I think as long as I'm looking at it as being about what is best for her, not us, then I'm doing the right thing. I really will miss her. I want to find someone local. With kids, Someone that is active and loves going on walks. I'd like to be kept up to date with how she's getting on. She won't just be off with the first person that comes along.
• We are going to have our conservatory replaced. Its going to be bigger and will be a playroom for the kids. 
• I'm going to study for the Prince2 qualification so I can become a project manager. Have started reading some documents in PDF format that hubby found for me (he has done the course before). 

 I've been quite busy the last couple of days. We had a meeting with the person that co-owns our house in Turkey to discuss arrangements with the lady out there that manages it for us. I took notes and drafted an email to the lady after the meeting and am chasing everyone for the actions that need doing. I love all that. 

I've also been looking into ways I can promote the blog. I've joined BritMums and Tots100 and am trying to chat on there as much as I have time for. Its all a bit daunting though. I've subscribed to a load of blogs of people from off there and I think I'm going to go to bed and read some of them in bed.

Have a feeling I'm not going to get round to doing any tidying tonight. Dinner was a bowl of very tasty spicy couscous made by hubby.

Night night.

Detox Day 7 - General Ramblings

14:34 - Its getting a bit boring recounting what I eat everyday so I'm just going to summarize. Its pretty much the same as what I've been having the last few days. Had muesli when I got into work (15 minutes late - back to the flipping grind stone where traffic is concerned), some nuts to snack on, for lunch: salad - lettuce, cucumber, tomatos, spring onions, red onion, walnuts with chilli olive oil and balsamic vinegar to dress. Then some of my homemade oat cakes which I've just scoffed. I wasn't in early enough to pick up some free fruit (they have it free in bowls in our offices but I don't like the apples they have and usually by about 9.20am that is all that is left - all the bananas and grapes have gone). And I'm trying not to spend any money so haven't BOUGHT any fruit. I do have some homemade houmous and veggie dippers (cucumber & celery) to snack on a bit later but will try to wait until 3.30pm.

Over the weekend we had no problem sticking to the diet, although I have to say I did rather miss a nice glass of wine on Friday and/or Saturday night. But I know I'm feeling better for not having it. Having mentioned that I felt all bright eyed and bushy tailed on a few mornings (normally I am like a bear with a sore head), this morning I was back to feeling tired again. Although I think that was because I struggled to get to sleep last night. Hubby was, erm, pestering me but I held my ground and eventually he went to sleep and I stayed awake and alert like a rabbit out needing to check for predators. Which is funny...

I'm loving the new laptop. I ALMOST brought it to work with me so that I could play with it at lunch... but thought better of it. Besides I need to wait until the case and cover arrive for it.

I'm DEFINITELY having an early night tonight. I'm actually going to set my alarm on my phone so that it goes off at 9pm. I'll go have a bath and then be in bed by 10pm.

20:35. That plan to have an early night went out of the window as the kids are still messing around. I've put them back to bed about 3000 times and its getting very annoying. It just wears you down. When you do get down from ANOTHER trip up the stairs to put them into bed, all you can do is flop on the sofa. I'm not even sure I have the energy to write this. I still have to do a load of laundry sorting and folding before I go to bed and if I want to go to bed early still that means I can't have a bath as I tend to spend about 45 mins in there. Plus 10 to run it. I can't even have a cup of tea cos we have no tea bags. My lovely hubby has gone out to do a shop. Hence why its me doing all the running up and down stairs. Left Lala (the main culprit of tonight) to cry it out as fed up of her messing around.

If I had any energy or brain function left I would probably have started this blog talking about the weekend and what we got up to. Saturday wasn't anything special, but Sunday the kids went back to rugby tots and then in the afternoon we took the dogs for a walk in Frensham Pond.

Today was the first proper day back at work for most people which meant that traffic was awful. I dropped Lala at her childminders first - the one that's had the baby recently. I had put Lala in a very special dress which was actually mine when I was her age - proper vintage. I figured it was her first time meeting the baby and it deserved a special dress. I have a gorgeous photo of her actually HOLDING the baby which actually made me cry seeing it. I'm so proud!!! I didn't get to meet baby until the evening when I came to pick Lala up and honest to god, I couldn't put her down. I wanted to run off with her!!! She's so cute and diddy. I also got a picture of me holding the baby and Lala next to me posing with a smile. I have asked permission to put them up here. If she says yes, I'll add them. - addendum - I created a whole blog post as I felt it was warranted! (and I got permission) - Here it is: Meeting Baby Tilly.

Some pictures from the weekend:

Rugby Tots

More at Rugby Tots

Give me your iPhone, Mummy (not a frigging chance Larlee)

Nutter dog Tia

Joshua enjoying the "beach"

Kisses from girl

Kisses from boy. I am so blessed!

Tea and bed methinks.

Back to work, forgot handbag, not getting house....

I'm back at work today. So not in the mood at all, although it was nice to get out of the house. Hubby is at home with the kids again. I think he got a raw deal this Christmas! lol. He decided to take "time off" and got lumbered looking after the kids (his kids, so guess he should just lump it). It has made me giggle a bit though when I was hiding in my office working (I was allowed to work from home over the Christmas week) that he got a bit of a flavour as to why I used to pull my hair out on the days when I was at home with them when I was working full time.

I'm rather disappointed to find out that today is apparently not a half day like Christmas Eve was. But I think I'll go home and work from home at about midday (ie make sure I am logged onto the chat thing and check the emails every so often).

My parents are back from their cruise that they went on over Christmas. We saw them on Saturday at my sister's house. We took the kids with us and just put them to bed on my sister's spare bed. They were really good. Lala, bless her, went to bed about 6.30pm, while Joshua stayed up until gone 9pm, but he was very good. We didn't make a fuss as to be honest I don't think its fair. It was the first time he'd seen his Granny & Grandad in a few weeks and same for my sister and her husband. He was such a sweet boy the entire evening. I almost wish we could always be visiting someone. No fighting, no crying, no wetting himself (he only does that at home). He also said some really funny things. We were talking about who he would marry when he got older. Expecting him to say something like a girl from nursery or maybe even Mummy (cos they don't really understand the concept at 4) and he said he wanted to marry Daddy. LOL. It would kind of make sense though. He does love dressing up in girls clothes and wearing Mummy's makeup. As hubby said, as long as we get some Grandkids we don't care who he marries (man or woman). The other funny thing he said was "Growing up is hard". We all laughed. Out of the mouths of babes. Isn't it just!!!!

I'm going to go down to the Starbucks at the other end of the building now and get myself a latte. Back in a minute.......


Am back. Look what I got:

Just couldn't resist really. I forgot my handbag this morning. I'm so out of practice of going into work that I had my laptop bag (the one I really really need) and forgot my handbag which has my purse and therefore my money. However, I put an email out to anyone that might be in the building to ask if I could borrow a couple of quid, and someone came back - in fact quite a few people came back. I was very impressed. I also found a pound coin in my coat so that was good. Meant I could afford to buy the chocky croissant.

So my parents are having the kids from this afternoon until tomorrow morning. On New Years Eve. Can you believe it? This all came about because I had asked them if they could have them on Wednesday as they seemed pretty keen to have them (not seen them in a while - that'll soon wear off lol) and my sister in law who is now working as our childminder has been ill all Christmas. However, yesterday she (the SIL) rang me and said she is on the mend (she's had a seriously nasty bout of flu which turned into a head cold) and she'd like to have them on Wednesday. So I told my parents they weren't needed. They actually sounded quite disappointed!!! Anyway, so yesterday afternoon we had been having a discussion about this house that we want to buy and we have both come to the conclusion that maybe its not the right house or time for us. Which is extremely disappointing for both of us as we both want to move. A fresh start, neighbours who don't bang on the wall just because your toddler is crying. However, the more we both thought about it, the more we were having second thoughts.... I'll carry on with this in a minute.

So we were talking about it and my parents rang about something to do with my dad's phone. I solved it by telling him to shut it down and restart it. That worked. It suddenly dawned on me that maybe we could have a bit of a break as we really feel like we need it. And they HAD said to let them know when they want the kids. So I asked if they would have them the next afternoon (this afternoon now) and they said yes, and they kind of suggested that they could perhaps have them over night too. Which was just amazing. The relief I felt at the idea of having some time off. I know I've been at home working but its not the same as being off work and being able to sort the house out without having sticky little fingers undo all the hard work you have just done.

So anyway, back to the house. The main reason we think it is not going to work is the internet situation. My husband works from home and really needs to have internet access. I also intend to find a job one day where I can work from home. So to have a house where we are going to get extremely bad to no internet connection is just not an option. Also the house is not on mains sewerage or gas supply. Also it is right next door to a pub. Its not actually attached as its a detached house (YAY!) but it is very close. Now while this wouldn't ordinarily be a problem but having been there a few times (lovely landlady, lovely people) its a metallers, biker type pub. I have no problem with that fact. Its just the fact that they have metally type live music on a regular basis. I guess I wouldn't be worried about less noisy music maybe. But by the sounds of it it can get quite loud. Now I love live music but I really don't like thrash metal and if I can't even escape the house to actually enjoy the music properly then what is the point! So I've really been having second thoughts about that. So we have decided to withdraw our offer, tell the people that want to do a survey on our house (and yet have not made an offer yet) that we are taking our house off the market. I feel quite depressed about the whole thing. We have decided that we are not going to look for another house. We are just going to stay put until after September when Joshua goes to school. Save up, pay off debts, then when we are ready again maybe we might be able to afford the big house with big rooms AND decent location WITHOUT the sewerage/gas/pub issues. I was SO sure that this house was meant for us though. I feel so disappointed.

I'm feeling decidedly glum. I feel like I want to go out and buy myself lots of things to make myself feel better. Sadly I forgot my handbag today. So that's not going to happen. I was actually thinking of going to the Apple store in Basingstoke to go buy myself the Apple laptop (Macbook Air) that I have been hankering after for so long. I get like this when I'm down. Just want to go buy lots of things. It makes me feel better if only for a while.

I will leave you with a photo of my Dad with the two kiddies round my sister's house.

Christmas day, Boxing day and 27th....and the rest

Am going to start writing this now (12pm on Boxing day) but I will probably have to come back later and finish it so will do what I can. As I type, hubby is reading the kids a story that they got for Christmas while I'm downloading the first 3 Starwars films. They've already watched the original 2. I've just downloading the Return of the Jedi and the new 3 so we're going to go down and carry on watching them.

Yesterday was fab. Not your typical Christmas day (if you believe that the adverts by M&S and Asda are typical). We opened the kids stockings with them first thing, then went down for breakfast which was mostly made up of chocolate and did more present opening. We all stayed in our PJs all day. Nanny & Grandpa (hubby's parents) came round at 10am and stayed for a glass of bubbly and we opened their presents. Then they went and the kids had lunch (nuggets and chips - this is what they asked for as its their very favourite thing - hubby bought the most expensive nuggets and curly slightly spiced fries) and we sat down and snacked on cheese and crackers at the kitchen table with them. Oh and they opened crackers too. They love crackers.

Now sat on sofa (12.53pm Boxing day) watching the first Star Wars movie (the first one with Ewan McGregor - yum!).

So after lunch of cheese, and a few glasses of bubbly I came over all knackered. It might have been due to a late-ish night (we went out to the pub) so I had a bit of a nap but not much of one as everytime I seemed to drift off, I got woken up by a child or hubby asking me for something. Still, can't complain. I think it was just the stress of new job, all that commuting, everything just compounded at the one day I managed to be able to relax. This is exactly what happened when I had a girls weekend away. They all lived it up drinking tonnes and I just went to bed for the whole weekend.

We didn't eat OUR Christmas dinner until after the kids were in bed and it took a lot longer than hubby thought (he does pretty much all the cooking in our house) and we didn't eat until about 9.45pm. We had our pudding before our dinner - we had it before the kids went to bed. Sticky Toffee Pudding. My mum's recipe. It was lovely.

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I'm so rubbish. I never got around to finishing this yesterday. So, summary. Xmas day: movies, cheese for us, nuggets and chips for kids, Sticky toffee pudding, followed by roast beef for us in the evening.

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Boxing day was another lazy day. Movies and snacks all day.

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Today I'm working from home. There isn't much to do to be honest but its a great excuse to have a bit of peace and quiet. Am currently running a bath which I'm going to have (I like my baths mega-hot) and then will have some kiddy time while hubby gets in the bath.

I'm very much looking forward to the post. I'm hoping my pandora beads will come. I ordered them yesterday and according to the DHL site they are out for delivery today. I also ordered a load of clothes off Redoute (and also bought myself a few things in Sainsburies this morning when I nipped out to get myself a Starbucks latte). So soon I should not be complaining about not having any clothes to wear (that fit me).

I'm getting a personal trainer in the new year. So hoping he will help me to get motivated to get fit and lose some weight. Will need it after all the crap I've eaten this holiday.

Have also decided (hope I don't regret telling you this) that I am going to give up alcohol for January. I did it once four years ago (actually 5 I guess as it was just before I got pregnant with Joshua) and it made me feel quite good. I feel the need for a purge. Oh, talking of purges, yesterday I also found some time to go through my wardrobe. I moved all my fancy dresses (ball dresses, cocktail dresses, party dresses) to the spare bedroom wardrobe. I don't need them taking up space when I only ever wear them once in a blue moon. I also took out anything that I knew didn't fit me, tried on anything that I wasn't sure about and also took out anything that was too summery. No point having my wardrobe full of strappy summer dresses when all it does is rain. I pulled out all my tops from the cupboard and hung up any nice ones and also jumpers. I know some people may think its silly to hang up jumpers but I want to be able to see at a glass what my options are to wear for work in the morning when I want to get ready. So in one side of the wardrobe I have my shoes (on one of those hangy canvas shelf things) and trousers, skirts and dresses (work type dresses). On the other side (which is shared between myself and hubby (he has the bottom rail and I have the top one)) I have put all my tops, cardigans, jumpers and at the end at the back (cos I don't wear them very often) suits. I'm very pleased about how this looks. I will try to load a few pics on here later.

Am going to publish this now as its getting silly. Its now the 28th. I've been a bit distracted as have found a rather addictive game online called Cultures. 

Stockings mostly unopened

One VERY happy boy

Opening her first Christmas present

My beautiful charm bracelet

Christmas lunch

Light saver battles (they call them light savers, not sabres)

Day out and housework-related hissy fit

Wasn't going to blog tonight. But I can't sleep so I may as well tell you what I've been up to this evening. I have myself a brandy (was going to have tea but thought brandy might actually aid my terrible indigestion a bit more - well, and it tastes yummy) and will tell you about my evening. Are you sitting comfortably? Actually its not really that interesting so don't get your hopes up.

And tonight I'm going to work backwards. Just to confuse you. Well, just before bed I had a bit of a mega-strop at the husband. Well, it wasn't EXACTLY AIMED at him but he was the only one in the house/room (that was awake) so I guess it was probably fair for him to assume that he was the target. I'd come to bed. Hubby came up about an hour previously and said he was going to tidy the bedroom before going to bed. He hadn't and, now I often say I'm going to do things and then don't so not sure why I took this so personally, it suddenly hit me what an untidy tip our house is. Actually, that's not when it hit me. It hit me when I tried to dig through my knicker drawer to find some cotton normal (ie non-frilly non-lacy) comfy knickers - I sleep in knickers. Always have. Can't go nude in bed. Not sure why. Probably some deep seated issues I have related to my lack of being comfortable with my own body! Anyway, none to be found. Only lacy ones that I'd recently bought and regretted buying as they seemed to not actually have a gusset. Just lace. All lace. Really handy. Not very comfy either. Is all very well feeling sexy but why can't we be sexy AND comfy at the same time? Eh? Tell me. Anyway, after getting no joy out of knicker drawer I then searched the laundry room (by this I mean the floor of the spare bedroom where all our clean stuff gets dumped after its been dried). No knickers of any sort there. I went down to the washing machine as I knew there was a wash in there. Couldn't get the door open. Shouted at husband and world in general. Slammed a few doors (hoping desperately I wouldn't wake the kids - but I just HAD to do a bit of door-slamming - you know that feeling???). Hubby tried to open washing machine door and started doing some cursory putting away of stuff although 10pm really isn't the time or the place. I was frustrated as I had planned to get loads done today. This is how earlier in the day went:

I got up with kids at about 8am. Lala had slept in our bed. She likes to spread out a lot so hubby (who didn't go to bed until around 5am anyway as he was watching movies) slept in the spare bedroom. I made them breakfast and tried to get away with a few more minutes in bed while they ate their toast and watched Charlie & Lola in their room. That didn't last long though so I got up in the end and we all went downstairs. I started tidying the kitchen which had been messified by hubby the previous day (I hate it when I clean things and they get messy again) while he was making bread. It was scrummy bread though so I can't really complain. Took me more or less all morning to sort out the kitchen. I made a start on the sitting room but the kids always seem to mess it up quicker than I can tidy and I hate that. I cannot get any satisfaction from doing a job that is unending and you get nothing out of. Call me selfish.

When hubs got up eventually. I say eventually.... It was only 10am that he got up. I got more of a lie in than that yesterday. So I shouldn't really grumble. I suppose I just resent him for being brave enough (or stupid enough) to stay up that late enjoying himself. I know I would feel utterly awful so I would never do that myself unless I knew that I had the entire day to myself with no kids & the freedom to do nothing but eat and watch grownup TV all day the following day. He got up all bouncy and full of the joys of.... er christmas I guess. And said "Lets go out and do something christmassy". He was so insistent I didn't really get a choice. I kind of had planned to do nothing (ie not go out anywhere) and have a day of doing things (to get the house ready for xmas) but he was so insistent that we should go and have "family fun" so I agreed as long as we could get Life Juice (Starbucks) on the way. Mummy's a bit grumpy in the morning. And in the afternoon. And in the evening. And sometimes at night too! I have to say I didn't get any LESS grumpy when I pulled my scab off my hand when trying to attach the car seat into my car. Good start.

So off we went. After Starbucks, we went to Winchester as there was a Christmas market type thing thing there. It was nice. Bit stressful if I'm honest. Lala is not very well and I'm not sure if its just that she burst a blood vessel or that she'd fallen over and banged her nose but her rather snotty nose started dribbling blood at one point and kept slowly dribbling more bloody snot. So I was worried that she'd somehow managed to break her nose. Also she got very grumpy about holding my hand and was insistent on walking by herself so I either had to push people out of my way to stay with her or have her screaming cos she didn't want to hold my hand or I had to carry her. They did enjoy seeing the little nativity scene with a real live Mary and Joseph & a live cow, sheep, goat & donkey. They spent ages there. I had to carry her away in the end as both her and Josh were climbing up on the fence thingy and Mary had to tell us to get them to climb down a couple of times. After that and a bit of shop meandering.... oh yes and we got Lala a nice wooden necklace and Joshua a wooden sword although I think we should have done it the other way round as Joshua quite liked the necklace and Lala definitely preferred the sword. We were going to find a nice pub and have a nice lunch but the 2 places we tried (pizza restaurant and the Slug & Lettuce) were both fully booked so we ended up taking the kids to McDonalds. Still, they were happy about it. And hubs and I had some chips. And then a hot dog each on the way back to the car park.

On the way back I suggested that maybe we drive to the place where this house is that we're hoping to buy. And maybe stop at the pub if the kids go to sleep. Which they did. The drive there was GORGEOUS. All country lanes and hills. I love the country side. It makes me feel peaceful. We got to the pub. Had a quick look at the outside of the house then went to the pub next door. The kids were asleep in the car. We parked right where we could see them. As we walked in, hubby said, isn't this the pub you played in with your old band (the one I was in when I first met him). I said it might be. and the more I thought about it the more I realised that it was the place. We met 18 years ago. 1994. I ignored him mostly. Cos I had my eyes on someone else at the time who wasn't paying me back the attention so I kind of blew hubby off.

Isn't that amazing though. The house that we love and really hope we are going to get (if they ever come back to us with an answer to our 2nd offer) is right next door to the place where we first met. I'd say that was fate.

We had a drink. Hubs had a coke as was feeling a bit rough. I had a red wine and then had another red wine as hubs agreed to drive. Joshua woke up. Came and sat on a bar stool and chatted with us. We bought raffle tickets for their meat raffle. Chatted to the landlady and told her our story. And chatted to some of the locals. Then Lala woke up and she was not too happy so we had to leave fairly sharpish. Got that stab of guilt for not having her tucked up in bed with a hot water bottle (not that she would have stayed there!).

Came home. I went and had a bath as had found it a pretty shattering day & hubs fed the kids dinner. I fell asleep on bed for a bit after bath. Hubs came to get me and asked if he could get in my bath and have a nap so I went to chill with the kids for a bit. Got no housework done.

By the time hubs came back down was bedtime for kids which he does generally and I was quite tired so left him to it and tucked self up in duvet which he had brought down to the sitting room earlier.

This is why we got nothing done. Was a good day really but I had envisaged me being able to get tonnes done because hubby could entertain the kids and keep them downstairs so I could, at my own pace, start dealing with the mess room by room. Or he could even take them out for an hour or two (OK if he had I'd probably just have sat down with some TV and a cuppa)....

I'm too much of a perfectionist and I like to see the result of what I'm doing and I like to be doing it when I'm at my best. ie: not when I've just woken up, not when I'm just about to go to bed and I don't like to be doing it while I have toddlers shouting at me to help them with puzzles and MUMMY WANT TO DO PAINTING! and that kind of thing. I know, its unrealistic. I should just stop wishing I could have peace and quiet to do housework and just settle with doing a little bit as and when I can. But it just doesn't come naturally to me!!!

Anyway, so that was our day. Day out, fun, stress, food, drive, pub, home, TV, bed, row, bed, brandy, blog. In a nutshell.

Should go to bed now as its nearly midnight now. So much for my early night.

Some pics of the day:

Babychinos on the way

Candy floss!

Walking together - yes, I know I look awful and fat. Personal Trainer in Jan

The sword

Chilling in sofa/bed later with toast

Last minute stocking filler shopping, painting & finally BATH!!!!

So. Hubby is back from his monster shopping trip. Strangely he didn't come back with that much. Benefit of being an impulse buyer is it doesn't take me long to get what I need/want. He, however, is NOT an impulse buyer. Which is why he spent a good 3 hours out today shopping. Also he seemed to go to lots of different places. I would probably have gone somewhere that I could get most of the things that I needed in one fell swoop. I hate shopping. I love shopping for fun things for me and for the kids but I hate the pressure that Christmas and Birthdays put on you to get something perfect.

So, what has my day been like?

Well, I had a bit of a lie in this morning. Didn't feel like that much of a lie in as the kids woke up late (8.15am) and then my hubby got up. I often feel like I've been cheated if he gets nearly as much of a lie in as me when its my turn! lol. I know that isn't logical but I'm competitive like that and I feel that he should be up at 6am and I should get all that time in bed on my own (spreading out all over the bed, sleeping on his pillow - which invariably always seems more comfy than mine even if I've swapped mine for his the previous night!!!). Anyway, Lala came up to see me in bed in the morning. I thought it was 10am but I guess it must have been a bit later as it was 11am by the time I actually got out of bed. She chilled in bed with me and played with her iPhone (my old one).

Then I got up and hubby decided that before I went out to do my shopping (for his christmas stocking and Lala's) he was going to nip to the supermarket to get some bread flour to make some fresh bread with (he's a bit Jamie Oliver like that). However, Joshua insisted on going with him and Lala saw Joshua put his shoes on and wanted to go too and I didn't think it was fair to make Ben take them both. Not for xmas shopping so I said I'd take her to do my shopping (she probably wouldn't remember the presents I'd bought her). So I chucked her in her Peppa Pig wellies (no socks. I'm a terrible mother) and threw her in the car. I didn't REALLY throw her in the car. I secured her gently without whacking her head on the way in.

We went to Enchanted Wood which is a LOVELY toy shop. She was quite excited about going in but I think I might have been a tad MORE excited than she was. Especially as they have a WHOLE WALL of Sylvanian Families stuff. I used to love those little figures when I was a little girl. So I have taken it upon myself to make sure she does not miss out on that joy!!! lol. Nothing like living vicariously through your kids!!! Here she is trying to figure out the little stools at the Lego station in the shop:

This is what I bought her.... I can tell you cos I know you won't tell her:

I also got her a little Hello Kitty toy which she demanded as soon as we'd paid for it. Well, technically, she got it before I'd typed in my pin but the shop assistant didn't seem to mind. Here it is before and after she got home and painted it blue!!!

Actually the photos were taken the other way around. I hadn't got a photo of it before she painted it but I thought it would sound silly to say "here is the picture of Kitty painted blue" and "Here is kitty after Mummy made her all clean again in the sink". Not that you care... Will stop rambling now.

Here is a picture of my darling daughter.... this is why I normally hide the paints from her:

Joshua did some painting too. In fact, he was painting first as she was in bed and I thought I'd be safe. But then she woke up and found them before I'd had a chance to put them away. Here is Joshua painting Darth Vader. Yes, I know it doesn't look much like Darth Vader but he was happy and painting something without screaming about it being rubbish so I just let him get on with it.

Oh, forgot to mention that after Enchanted Wood me and Lala went to Sainsburies. I got a big trolly which she sat in for about 5 minutes and then insisted on walking in front of the trolly - basically leading me. It was very funny. I got much less than I probably would have because I had to run after her. All I got was some chocolate croissants for me (and hubs...) some chocolate donuts for her (and her brother) and.... a Radio Times. Got to get the red marker pen out and circle what I'm going to watch this Christmas. Its my tradition. Wonder how many other people have that tradition. Here is Lala leading me around the shops:

She was very funny and almost got run over several times by manic xmas food buyers (anyone would think the world was going to end - oh no, that was yesterday!).

I got her back to the car and realised that she no longer had her little Kitty that I'd just bought her. So I had to race back with her to trawl the aisles. Thankfully I found it by the chocolate croissants. She must have seen the donuts and lost control of her limbs. Happens to the best of us!

Well, I'm now going to take my glass of wine.

And go relax in the bath as I feel I deserve it. Can hear a bit of screaming going on downstairs, but its not my problem. My childcaring ended when hubby got back!!!

Christmas tree is up now

Can I be bothered to blog tonight.... I don't know if I can or not. I am actually typing this into a new post on Blogger while watching Elementary. I'm going to have an early night tonight. But not too early. Not like 8 or anything.

Felt very disturbed about the school shooting. Why would anyone do something like that? I mean if you have that much rage that you have to go kill someone, go find a room full of lawyers or something (joke). Or maybe a maximum security prison full of other murderers. OK, can see smuggling a gun into a max security prison might not be that easy. Maybe why they chose an elementary school. No, I don't want to think about it. Not after seeing my 4 year old doing his nativity play at nursery today. The thought of any kind of violence carried out on children (especially little ones - or ones the same ages as my kids) just makes me sick to my stomach.

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Joshua got up just as I was getting into my stride just then. So am going to change my tact as he reminded me what Christmas is all about. What life is all about really. Love. Kids. Fun. Love. He got up and wanted to put the Christmas tree up. I had promised him this afternoon that we'd do it when he woke up from the nap. So, we got the Christmas Tree down from the loft, me and daddy that is. Then after putting it together (its a big fake one), once I had spread all the branches out (Joshua refused to do that bit), he helped me decorate it. It looks lovely.

Ramblings of a tired person

Thinking to myself I should probably do a blog post. Not quite sure how to start. That's often how I start one though. Don't know where its going to take me when I start.

Hubs is out getting some shopping. He seems to like that. Going out. Being useful. Being on the move. I myself would rather be in front of the TV with a glass of wine or in the bath. I'm supposed to be walking the dog tonight (obviously I can't do it while he's out as the kids are in bed but I might have to if hubby mentions it when he gets home). I suppose it might not be that bad to get out in the fresh air for 10 minutes. Depends if its raining or not of course. If its raining I'm not going to go.

I tried to download an episode of Homelands season 2 that I missed on the sky box but its a zip file and a text file and the text file tells you that to get the password to unzip the zip file to get to the avi (or whatever) file you have to go to a website.... I can't be bothered with that. Its probably going to be dodgy anyway. If you are going to upload files, at least just make them available to download without having to go through hoops. And before anyone tells me off for downloading illegally, I pay for my sky viewing. Not my fault that there were weather issues/failed to record/clashed with something (ok that WOULD be my fault). Its just the odd episode that I've missed. Cos I'm a bit OCD about TV. I can't miss an episode. I know technically I could figure out where I was and fill in the gaps from the last episode but I DON'T WANT TO MISS ANYTHING!!! Hmmm issues?

Be right back. Going to top up my wine and come back up here to blog.

Am back. Wine filled up. Dog knocked my (plastic) popcorn bowl off the table (obviously to lick the contents) but I don't really give a crap. Past caring at this point.

So, what's going on? Oh yeah. Work. Well, I mentioned in my last post I think that my boss had given me a bollocking for skipping out. Well, I was reassured by the HR woman at the agency I work for that yes I could have gone to the wellbeing centre (yes, we have one of those) first and maybe if this happens again, go there, but if I was unwell (be it physical, mental whatever) there is nothing unreasonable about me going home. I saw the HR lady in person today. She was lovely. She seems very understanding and nice. I wanted to impress on her that I really do want to do a good job. Told her my strategy for the next month or so was to:

1. Do any work that comes in IMMEDIATELY. I had got a little bit lazy with this. My workload has been very low and that does kind of lead to laziness. I know its not an excuse but I guess on Friday I had been a bit lazy and then I came in monday in a foul mood that turned into a rather deep depression/panic mode. I guess being bored is not really good for me at all. Rather have too much to do than not enough. In work anyway. At home I like to do bugger all!!! 
2. Ask on regular intervals if anyone needs anything doing.
3. (this was the agency lady's suggestion) Drop boss an email every now and then (maybe every day) to let her know how my workload is and what I've been up to
4. In a month or so after hopefully proving that I'm coping with my (small) workload fine and am able to do everything in my current task list, I will go to her and ask for more work, more responsibility, something more challenging. 

I also mentioned to this lady that I had considered (given my interest in and love for organising) that I might like to become a project manager (or look into training so that one day I can get there). I asked her about Prince 2 training and asked if she thought it was necessary. She said that its not always necessary and SOMETIMES the company prefers you NOT to have it particularly if, like at this company I currently work for, the company has its own ways of thinking and doing things.

So that was good. I also met up with flirty bossesboss. Just for a coffee and a chat. And I wanted to ask him about the project management thing too. Not too much flirting going on lately. Very mild flirting on chat. But I'm fine with that. To be honest, I have too much going on and if it got too heavy I would back off totally. Cos I love my hubby (particularly if he's reading this. No really. Love you xxxx). I told hubs about the whole chat flirt thing. He is okay with it. Or seems to be. I usually know when he is pissed off. Its quite easy to tell. Plus I figure if I tell him about it, if he is unhappy with anything I can stop it. Not that there is anything really to stop. It cheers me up sometimes (the flirting) which is nice but I value my husband and my kids much more than to make stupid mistakes. I'm over that stage in my life!!!!

Anyway, dog is barking in the sitting room. You would think she would be happy to be in the sitting room. Better than locked in their cold dog room. Stop bloody barking already!!!! I'm trying to type!!!! Might have to finish this up.... Ooooh I could save it and carry on on hubby's laptop in front of the TV. Yes, that's what I'll do.

Yay. Back in the sitting room. Stolen the hubby's machine and the dog is sat next to me watching Grey's Anatomy with me.

Silly woggy

Aw. Int she cute. I'm also going all gooey over a lovey dovey moment in Greys. Love it.

So what else is going on? Apart from job shit and the usual I-am-almost-but-not-quite-a-lunatic. Well, we made an offer on another house. I love it. We went to see it yesterday. I had the day off and we went to see it in the afternoon. Lala went to Aunty Ema's for the day and Joshua was poorly but didnt seem too unhappy about the possibility of going to see our possible next house. In fact he was quite excited. When we got there, we went into the kitchen. Which is AMAZING by the way. Joshua said "I like the kitchen, mummy, its very tidy" (it was empty as there is no-one living there). It has a HUGE sitting room, the master bedroom is massive. It has an ensuite bathroom and also.... DEEP BREATH... it has a dressing room. HYPERVENTILATES..... calm down.... deep breath. A dressing room.

Hubby's sat next to me now and says that if I blog about it I might jynx it. But I don't believe that. If its meant to be, its meant to be. Which it probably isn't. Anyway, we made a silly low offer. They are going to call us back tomorrow and let us know if they accept it or not.

Hubby stolen his laptop back so am back on my iphone. Thought I might finish this post off with some pickies.

Should dogs really sit like this?

See, self, you are pretty! (see last post)

My boy as Joseph in the Nativity

Me in my dress before my xmas party

Celebrating a little bit tonight - celebrating the fact that we are going to buy another house (even if its not this one that we've just put an offer in on)