Friday, March 22, 2013

Prose for thought - a bit late

Sorry I'm late on this. Its been a very busy time.

Here is this week's poem. I wrote it aged 15-16 (I'm not sure which as I just wrote 1993 on the page, not a month). I think I may have been on a bus or train when I wrote it. I hope you like it.

Invisible and Blind - 1993 Aged 15-16

I’m watching.
All these people around me,
I am invisible to them.
They walk through me.
I won’t meet them again.
Does it matter?
Do I care?
Their noises surround me,
But I don’t hear it.
Waiting for them to all fade away.
As soon they will.
Frowning, laughing, screaming, crying.
And I did not see them,
Until today.
There are so many of them
That they all blend together
As part of the scenery,
Even though each is unique.
Look around.
Do you see them?
Do I?
Perhaps no-one does.
A world full of people.
Each one alone.
Invisible and Blind.

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New look blog design & plans for the blog @bonnitagraphics #pbloggers

New Design

Well, its been a really exciting week. I've been busy with the pBloggers team getting the pbloggers blog up and running and promoting it as much as possible. I also had a new header (and avatar/badge and facebook/twitter headers) designed which I applied to the blog last night. It was designed by Bonita Graphics who turned it around in just a few hours. Please check them out and also follow/like them on Twitter and Facebook! I'm SO impressed and I love the new look of my blog. The header is designed to describe my family and life. If you are reading on a phone here is a picture of the header:

On the left you have my husband, Joshua and the little dog Toby. On the right, you have me and my daughter Lala next to our house and my little red car. In the far right you have Tia our labrador who we almost parted company with but who we love very much now we decided that it was US that needed to pull our socks up. Just under the title you have a rabbit (yes, we have a rabbit) and finally, dotted around the scene you have 6 chickens one of which is on my head. I just love it. It pretty much describes the chaos (and fun) that is our life. I only wish I spent more time at home. And I kind of wish our house was in the middle of a field with a dirt track (yellow brick road it looks like) leading up to it! One day....

Plans for the blog

I am so excited about everything that's going on right now. I have plans to write an eBook - more about that later. I have been listening to podcasts by Blogging Your Passion and Smart Passive Income to get hints and tips of how to make my blog better. I would love to make some money from blogging one day and haven't started on that route yet. That is not my main priority as really I just love writing and sharing but in my mind it would be amazing to earn an income from blogging/writing. And from listening to these blogs it seems that people out there are doing it.

I have been reading a lot of blogs too and trying to absorb as much as I can. However, after listening to a Blogging your passion podcast this morning I have realised that I am in "boss mode" too much. I have all these plans in my head: things I want to do, write about, ideas to develop but I'm spending too much time learning and not enough time actually DOING the work I need to do to get there. I feel like also my blog posts have been getting less and less frequent and when I've done them they've been short and really about plans again. No real content. I do hope you will bear with me.

Some of the ideas in my head that I never seem to get round to doing include.... Writing a series of technical help blog posts. After talking to someone at work he actually came up with the term "..... (insert technical item) for Mummies". Like, say, Twitter for Dummies, but for Mummies. I really like that idea. And if I get rich off it I will make sure I pay him some money for the idea! lol. Anyway, the things I would like to include in that blog series are:
  • Evernote - how amazing and useful it is, what I use it for, its different functionalities
  • Twitter - from a newbie to other newbies out there, things I have learnt about Twitter so far
  • Facebook - now I'm more of an expert about Facebook and how to use it to express yourself in your personal life (not so much from a business perspective). I would talk about how to set up private lists and use them in your post settings so that you only share more personal stuff with people you trust to understand. 
  • Blogging - again from the perspective of a relative beginner, I'd just like to put together the things that I've learnt, the tools that I've found helpful. 
Now I have my new design in place, my next step is to migrate from Blogger to Wordpress with a self-hosted site. I have bought hosting and a domain name but I am a little terrified about the move and setting it all up. I am going to take a look at it tonight.

Thursday, March 21, 2013

#pbloggers Blog

On Sunday I blogged about our Trending Twitter party with #pbloggers.

Well, we've been busy busy busy.

We have put together a blog for #pbloggers along with a twitter account for it and we will be working hard to make #pbloggers even more of a success.

Check out the #pbloggers Blog.

Please also follow us on Twitter.

Sorry this is such a short post. I'm very tired but please do check it out!

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Hats #pbloggers

I have so many things going on in my head right now and all my hats are muddled up in one big hatty hat. Like in the picture to the side.

You may have read, cough, mentions it again, about our Trending Twitter Party which has turned into a bit of a phenomenon (at least i think it has - it trended and for something to trend on twitter I think is pretty flipping cool). So I have my Mum in a Hurry blogger/twitter promoter hat on with a sub-hat of #pbloggers.

I have my work hat on when I'm at work although I have to be honest and say that lately (particularly since Sunday) my blogger/twitter hat has pretty much over-crowded any other hats that I have. Obviously I do my work but my mind is on other things.

Obviously, first thing in the morning and last thing at night (on weekdays anyway) I have my Mummy hat on.

I also have my student hat which I've only been wearing for a few weeks and I do like but I do love my blogger/twitter hat just that little bit more. I also have my dreamer hat which is the one that whispers to me that maybe one day I could do this blogging/writing thing for a living.

How many hats do you have and how do you manage to wear them (all at once or one at a time)?

Monday, March 18, 2013

BiB - Brilliance in Blogging - please vote for me #bibawards @Britmums #britmumslive #pbloggers

So, this is the first time I've joined in with one of these things. I came in too late with the MAD Awards (although I did vote) but this time, I've decided to go for it. Just heard about this competition/award thingamy through Verily, Victoria Vocalises (stole the picture to left from you - hope you don't mind).

So, I understand from Victoria's post (linked above) that this is organised by BritMums. Here is the blurb from their webpage: "It’s that time of year again: when we celebrate how inspired, talented, and innovative the parent lifestyle blogger world is with the Brilliance in Blogging Awards! Nominate yourself or a favourite blog friend for a BiB."

There are 16 categories - you can see them all here. But I think the ones I fit into are Fresh Voice, Inspire and Writer. The first stage of voting opens today and closes on 12th April. There is another stage of voting once the judges have whittled the nominations down to 16 bloggers in each category - this stage opens on 22nd April and closes on 12th May. The final winners will be announced at BritMums Live (which, yes, Victoria, and readers. I'm going to too - can't wait to meet you, and anyone else going!).

I'm already super excited about going to BritMums but being in this competition if I can get enough nominations may just have me exploding with jubilation!!!!

Please nominate me, please nominate me, please nominate me


To select your nominations (me!!!) click here. Or click on buttons below (also on sidebar)

PS If I do I will give you lots of chocolate, cake and gin!


Sunday, March 17, 2013

A Trending Twitter Party - #pbloggers

Wow. Where do I start?

I have only been properly blogging and on Twitter since November last year and it has been a bit of a learning curve, I have to say.

I have been trying to get to grips with it all and I had seen some chat going on around #bbloggers and #fbloggers etc and I didnt' really understand it all.

Well, I joined in a little bit and figured out that bbloggers stood for beauty bloggers and fbloggers was for fashion bloggers. There was also mbloggers for music bloggers. I can't remember how it came about but I joined in a conversation with some other ladies about why there wasn't a hashtag party thing for mum bloggers. We decided that it would be nice to include dads as there are plenty of daddy bloggers out there too and we wanted to include them so I came up with pbloggers (which stands for parent-bloggers). It wasn't being used for anything and, last Sunday, the #pbloggers Twitter party spontaneously happened.

This week, our 2nd week, we trended on Twitter. Now, I'm still quite new to all this but I know that trending is good.

We chatted with lots of bloggers experienced and newbies (like me). Our topic this week was actually being a new blogger - people's thoughts, experiences and advise if you had any to give.

The creators (that sounds quite cool, doesn't it) of #pbloggers are:

myself here (@mum_in_a_hurry)
Mischief Mayhem & Motherhood (link to her post re #pbloggers) @happymumMMM
Yummy Mummy in Training @Mummytraining27
My Little Rays of Sunshine (pot re #pbloggers) @mylittlerays
They Grow So Quick @Sebsmummy
Mummy Plum @mummy_plum.

Well, ladies, there is no parting us now. We are partners in crime!!!

The rest of you, if you are a parent and a blogger come join us NEXT SUNDAY (and every Sunday) 9-10PM. 

Friday, March 15, 2013

Matilda Mae Poem @Edspire #MatildaMae

Matilda Mae

a Poem Written for Jenny Edspire ispired by her post Toddler Grief

Dearest Baby Matilda Mae 
You are so dearly missed.  
Your mummy's heart is breaking 
Into lots of tiny bits 

You're brother and sister don't understand  
where their baby has gone 
Why mummy & daddy can't fetch her 
and bring her back where she belongs 

Matilda Mae I don't know you 
But I feel your mummy's pain 
So beautifully she writes it 
So raw and unrestrained 

 I want to make it better 
To give you back to your mum 
But I know that that's not possible 
What is done can't be undone 

So please baby Tilly grant me 
A favour from your place up high 
Grant your family the wherewithal  
To be strong and to get by

Random Ramblings

I feel the need to post a blog post but am not entirely sure what I'm going to write about.

What's on my mind?
  • Work - Its getting busier which is good and I've been training a new lady this week which is fine. Its a bit tiring. Sometimes all you want to do is get on with stuff, but that's not her fault. 
  • Study - I'm up to Lesson 5 (I think there are a total of 9 and then there are example exams and things). I have gone over my notes from lessons 1-4 and redone the tests to drum the information into my mind
  • Blog - I'm SO excited about my blog. I obsessively watch the number of views each day to see if they go higher than the next day. Not sure this is healthy - if anything its making me distracted as I'm thinking more about number of viewers and less about writing interesting/good content. Also can't WAIT for Britmums Live in June.
  • eBook - Off the back of some of my recent poetry posts linking up with Prose for Thought #Prose4T, I got some really lovely feedback and someone even suggested I put my poetry into an ebook and sell it on Amazon. I'm looking into that. I looked into the pricing of that and would have to price it at $2.99 (about £1.70) I think if I wanted to get 70% of the profit. I would also need to 
    • Title of ebook
    • Which poems to include
    • Order?
    • Should it include pictures, extra text in between the poetry?
    • Would people actually pay that for a book by me?
  • Bath bombs - old hobby/pocketmoney income of mine has been resurrected and have been selling to work colleagues through this email distribution list that they have at work for selling items, advertising wanted things and stuff like that.
  • Nails - have had TONNES of comments about my nails that I've done - started doing nail art on top of the acryllics that I had done. First I did pink with white polka dots. Most recent attempt is turquoisey green with little white flowers and little tiny blue gems. I bought a kit of nail varnishes (the kind with the really thin brushes) and have been going on Pinterest to get inspiration. See my Pinterest Boards - one for Inspiration and one for my endeavours for pics. I am going to try to make a habit of doing them either on a Friday or Saturday night. Not sure what I'm goign to try next. Might make up my own design. I'm thinking some kind of butterfly motif. 
  • BlogLovin - Oh, also I have just joined BlogLovin as I found out that Google Reader is closing soon. I've tried it out and I love it. Please follow me on it. In fact, while you're at it, please also follow me on:
That's it for now. I hope to soon have some incredibly interesting, useful and scintillating content for you! Haha!

Thursday, March 14, 2013


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Prose for thought #Prose4T - Too Little Sunshine, So Much Rain

Too Little Sunshine, So Much Rain

9th January 2001

Sitting on my own
Thoughts rolling through my mind
Looking for a peace
That I never seem to find

I wish I was a wave
That was crashing on the beach
I wish I was the light 
That is just beyond my reach

I wish I could give but never take
I wish I could sleep and never wake
I close my eyes but I can still see
I can't shut off that part of me

I go to bed and try to sleep
Why does this knife cut so deep
There's an empty space inside my soul
a part of me that's never been whole

I feel my life is wasting away
And its such a struggle to get through the day
There's a part of me that wants to grow
I've tried so hard not to let it show

But now I find I can't contain
Too Little Sunshine, so much rain. 

Prose for Thought

Monday, March 11, 2013

Thinking about the worst that could happen and the grief of others

Today I read a post by Edspire called Not So Normal Afterall about a mum dealing with her first day of "normal" routine after the funeral of her third child, baby Matilda Mae who some of you may have heard about through Twitter and the blogging network.

I'm not even sure what I want to say in this post. Edspire's post moved me to tears as I was reading about her reactions to normal things and to her inability to hug her children (I don't judge her at all for this I just want to say). I can't say I know how she feels but I can begin to imagine. There are crass things that go through my mind to say (in this blog) - about how lucky I feel and how I feel for her. I do. And I do.

Her post is so raw and you can almost see her pain floating up out of the screen. 

My instinct, if I'm honest, is to not open her blog again for a while as it makes me feel so many emotions. But she can't do that. Close the book on those emotions because its convenient to do so, so why should I. It feels unfair that this can happen to a nice lady (to anyone really).

I'm thinking about my own children asleep in bed upstairs. It makes me want to go hug them tight - but I'd probably wake them up.

What must it be like to know that you aren't going to squeese those little chubby legs again, hear that giggle again.... But in the midst of her grief, Edspire is still thinking about how her grief is affecting her family.

I am going to end here because I don't know what else to say, but if she reads it, I have a quick message for Edspire: you are amazing. Keep going. You'll get through this. We are all behind you.

Sunday, March 10, 2013

Dear Mummy

Dear Mummy,

Mummy, I am writing this on Sunday, Mothers Day
Its made me think of a few things i'd really like to say.
First of all, I'd like to tell you how much I love you
But more than that, I understand, now I'm a mother too.

Thank you for the crafty fun down in the cellar den
Making and sticking and painting, all happy memories of back then.
I remember Daddy going away and waiting by the window
Asking you when he was coming home, how you coped on your own I don't know.

You cared for us, fed us, kept us clean, kept us entertained
No parents nearby to help you out, you really must have been drained.
Apologies from me the teenager. I hope you will forgive.
I'm really lucky to have you & grateful for the help you give.

More than that, I'm proud of you. And what you have achieved.
You run your own business, work from home, in your dreams you have believed.
You're earning a wage from something you love, of this you should be proud.
And this makes me think that maybe my head isn't totally in the clouds.

So keep on being you, you are the you that I love so much.
You're caring and smart (yes, you are) with a very artistic touch.
Now I'd better go because its nearly 1 and I'm meant to be at yours
I do hope you like your cream tea we've made: scones and cheese straws.

Right, better go, how do I end? I suppose I should just say
I love you a lot and I'm wishing you a Happy Mothers Day. 

Thursday, March 7, 2013

Prose for Thought

Well, I was thinking of putting another of my poems up and the lovely Victoria from Verily, Victoria Vocalises suggested that I join in on her Prose for Thought Linky - here is this week's Prose for Thought blog post. I am doing this almost by accident as I only just remembered and luckily this linky happens on a Thursday which is good as today's the day that it occurred to me to post more poetry. I'm not very good at keeping to a schedule. I used to try or think about how I should be trying to do certain things on certain days (with regards to the blog I mean) but in the end I decided that I'd much prefer to just go with the flow. I was also invited to join in with Emma from Crazy With Twins on her Wednesday Words linky. Thank you so much for the invite. I hope you don't think I'm rude. I just forgot yesterday and now its too late. I will try to remember to join in on this one next week!

So, I haven't even decided which poem to choose yet. This is going to be as much an experience for me as it (hopefully) is for you. I'm currently running a bath. Sitting in my bedroom typing on my laptop. Hang on. Will take a picture for you!

Right. After about half an hour I have finally chosen. This is a poem that I obviously wrote at work (in 2004 when I was working for a large telecoms company). Its written on a couple of sheets of A4 lined paper and was tucked into another notebook that I used to use for writing my poems:

So here it is:

6th December 2004

How do I make myself stronger
When all i want to do
is pull the covers up and
Hide away from all of you

The ones that make me want to scream
and tear out all my hair
The ones that make me want to shout
out that I just don't care

I'll give you everything that I am
Just don't expect me to give a damn
I'll work my fingers to the the bone
But when it comes down to it, I'd rather be at home

Why do you act like you are better than anyone else
Why do I feel like you just want me to hate myself

With your cliches and your way of always blaming me
I look through the bars and beg you to set me free

From now I'll always smile for you
You'll never see me frown
I'll never cry in front of you
You'll never see me down

I'll keep my feelings to myself
I'll keep my secrets hidden
My face will be a book closed to you
A diary that's forbidden

There's no way i can trust you
Or even like you - you've made your feelings clear
But I won't let you crush me or push me down
You won't get the better of my fear. 

I think I was writing either at my boss or my supervisor. I remember those really strong feelings of not being allowed to "be me" and having to keep everything in. I've always been a very expressionate person (I just made that word up) and have never felt entirely (ok, at all) like I belonged in a corporate office. 
Hope you liked my poem.

Oh, here is the linky link thing. I hope I do it right! 
Prose for Thought

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Mention in Britmums

Hope you don't mind me blowing my own trumpet here but yesterday I found out that I'd got a mention in Britmums Newbie Tuesday post for my post where I included an old poem. She called it stunning!

So chuffed. Please check it out. Also check out all the other bloggers mentioned. I've had a look and subscribed and they are really worth a look!

@Britmums (not sure if putting a hashtag in my post will work...)

Friday, March 1, 2013

Weight Watchers and Couch to 5K

Two things to tell you tonight. 1 is that I joined Weight Watchers again today as an online member. I also created a FB page to log my progress (will also post on here) so I am accountable and have told everyone what I'm doing. I will have to stick to it. I can do it. I can. Cant I? I can....

The other thing I did today was do my first Couch to 5K run. I went out and walked/ran on the road. It consisted of a 5 minute walking warmup. Then 20 minutes of walking for 1.5 mins and running for 1 minute intermittently and then finally a 5 minute cool-down walk. My next one will be on Sunday. I'm going to try to do every 2 days.

I really hope I manage to find the motivation to see this through. I really need a change.

That's just the way it is

Half an hour to go until home time. Actually 20 minutes. Just enough time for me to whip this post off.

A colleague just said to me, when I commented that our boss had left the office at 3 today presumably to go work from home the rest of the afternoon. She said "that's just the way it is unfortunately, you either accept it or leave - that is the standard line here". What she was referring to is that its not acceptable for us (a) in this department and (b) as contractors, to work from home or to have flexible working hours. Now, I am not saying that employers ALWAYS have to bend over backwards to make it easier for their employees but according to quite high up management people I have spoken to, the business tries to support employees - particularly women, particularly women with children to a) get back to work and b) once there maintain a manageable work/life balance. However, as I have found out here and in the past is that it doesn't matter what the company line is, the decision basically comes down to your boss. And if, like me, you have a boss who is female and did everything the hard way and thinks you should just suck it up (that's the impression I get anyway), then you aren't going to get any flexibility.

I am trying to think positive. Not dwell on it, but I can't help thinking about the unfairness of it all. Surely, as a boss, it is better that your employees feel like they are valued. Surely when the work CAN be done from home occasionally it should be encouraged. Especially when many other people in the business do it. It just makes me frustrated. I have never been very good with people telling me what to do. Especially when it doesn't make sense to me.

I will give you a for instance. My husband works from home full time. No-one thinks that just cos he's at home he is going to be sat in his boxers, watching TV, only occasionally checking his emails. How about a bit of trust. If you find that we are less productive when at home, then discuss this and take it further from there. Why is it one rule for one, another rule for another?

Right now, apart from the work that I'm doing for a lady who I've been assigned to (because I like her and she actually involves me in meetings and stuff), I feel unmotivated. I don't feel like bothering to rush into work to get in early. Every time I see my boss I think quite uncharitable thoughts. I won't say what they are but suffice to say I don't really like her (I have the feeling that its mutual!). And I leave on the dot of 5 every day even if I was late in. If she brings this up I'll try to pull up my socks but I feel like why should I make an effort for you. You couldn't give a crap about my feelings, my life.

Oh well, I have decided to tackle my weight and I'm also being signed up for a Prince 2 course this weekend so its onwards and upwards. I'll start looking for something new too.